Is a Soft Mattress Right for You?

Soft mattresses are often prized for offering a luxurious yet cozy feel, like a swaddling blanket for the active adult. Have you ever dreamed of sleeping on a cloud? Or maybe you’ve wondered if sinking into a marshmallow-like bed every night is really all it’s cracked up to be.

Many people love soft mattresses, but they’re not for everyone.  A bed that feels like cloud nine to one person might feel like a sinkhole to another.

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A roommate might have a soft mattress nicknamed “Fluffy” that feels like a particularly affectionate python slowly devouring you every time you crash on it. In short, what’s best for you might not be right for someone else.

Your perfect mattress depends on things like your body type, how you sleep, and what feels comfortable to you.  From side sleepers who swear by their pillowy havens to stomach sleepers who might feel like they’re drowning in quicksand, we’ll cover who should cozy up to a soft mattress and who might want to firm things up a bit.

Benefits

Soft mattresses offer several perks that might make them the perfect choice for some sleepers. Some folks swear by the power of a good plush bed, finding it as comforting as a baby’s lullaby.

If you’re a side sleeper seeking pressure and pain relief, it might be just the ticket to deep slumber that you need.

Pressure Relief

Soft mattresses excel at pressure relief. It’s like having a custom-made body pillow that wraps around every curve and crevice of your shape. For many people, this level of mattress pressure relief can mean waking up with less stiffness and soreness.

See, not only is this gently engulfing sensation relaxing, but a pressure-reliving mattress spreads out your weight. And in doing so, takes the stress off your key pressure areas like your shoulders, hips, and knees.

I once knew a marathon runner who swore her soft mattress was better than any massage. That it could vacuum the soreness out of her muscles fast. She’d come home after a 20-mile run, flop onto her bed, and emerge the next morning feeling fresher than a daisy in spring. And you don’t have to run a marathon yourself to experience a similar effect.

Pain Reduction

Now, for some folks with creaky joints or muscles more knotted than a sailor’s rope, a soft mattress can be a game-changer. Stretching out and sleeping on one can be like a custom-fitted cloud that knows exactly where it hurts and how to make it better. It’s especially helpful for those with conditions like fibromyalgia or arthritis.

The mattress absorbs impact, reducing stress on sore spots. However, a soft mattress isn’t the perfect poultice for all pain issues. Some back pain sufferers might need firmer support to wake up on the right side of the bed, for example.

Side Sleeping Comfort

Of all sleep styles, side sleepers are the one most likely to enjoy a soft mattress. It’s a no-brainer as to why, as the surface lets their hips and shoulders sink in, the material gently lapping at their bodies like a restorative pool.

This is sinkage is good for a side sleeper mattress because it helps their spine stay straight, while a too-firm surface can cause the ends of the spine to curve upward. So a soft mattress can be the key to side-stepping the aches that come from sleeping with a torso twisted out of alignment.

Drawbacks

Now before you get too pumped up, we have to also consider the potential dark side of soft mattresses. While soft mattresses can have their benefits, they’re not perfect for everyone. It’s like that alluring dessert that looks heavenly but gives you a stomachache later.

I’ve had my fair share of soft mattress misadventures, and I’m here to spill the beans. Let’s look at some of the possible reasons you should think twice about that inviting cloud mattress you’re considering.

Lack of Support for Some Body Types

Soft mattresses don’t work well for everyone. Heavier people might sink too deep into the mattress. To them, it can feel like you’re stuck in a hole instead of resting on a bed. Like the ground is crumbling away, making it difficult to move around or get out of bed.

Meanwhile, while lightweight individuals are more likely to find one comfortable, it’s not a guarantee that a soft mattress is the key to unlocking their nightly comfortable. If they find themselves too “on top” of the mattress, they might toss and turn all night and wake up looking and feeling like they lost a fight with their bedsheets.

Potential Spinal Misalignment

Your spine needs good support to stay healthy. Soft mattresses can sometimes let your spine bend in weird ways while you sleep, like a stomach sleeper’s belly bowing too far into the bed.

Over time, this can lead to back pain or make existing pain worse. It’s like trying to stand up straight on a wobbly surface, and it’s just not good for your spine in the long run.

Now, this can be the fault of a poorly made soft mattress that lacks adequate support from its base layers. But sometimes, even a top-of-the-line mattress jut won’t provide the support that your pine specifically needs.

Possible Shortened Lifespan

It’s a tragedy in a few concise words: you buy an expensive ultra-plush mattress, thinking you’d be set for a decade. But within a year, it had more dips and valleys than a roller coaster. You feel like you’re sleeping in a ditch, rolling into the same spot no matter where you started.

Even if they’re equally well-made, soft mattresses often don’t last as long as firmer ones. Think of it like a favorite stuffed animal that gets squished over time from all the holding and hugging it experiences. The cushioning top often gets flattened down.

This means you might need to replace a soft mattress sooner than a firmer one. It can also mean the mattress stops giving you good support before it’s worn out, simply because the top layer has lost its fluffy feel.

If you want a mattress that lasts and lasts, a soft one might not be your best bet. However, this does have to be weighed against whether or not a soft bed is the most comfortable mattress for you.

Who Should Consider It?

Not everyone will love a soft mattress, but for some people, it’s the perfect fit. Side sleepers often fall in love with soft mattresses like a pair of leads in a romcom, and lightweight individuals or those with joint pain can also find the firmness level a perfect match.

Side Sleepers

When you sleep on your side, your shoulders and hips press into the bed. A soft mattress lets these parts sink in just right, keeping the spine straight.

As a devoted side sleeper, let me say that a good soft mattress can be life-changing. Or at least change your mornings, which let’s be real plays a big part in how the rest of your day goes.

Stretching out on the plush pillowy top was like watching an entirely undiscovered world of comfort unfold before me. It cradled my hips and shoulders like a loving grandmother holding a newborn.

Gone were the days of waking up with a arm so numb I’d swear it belonged to someone else. According to my partner, I slept more soundly too, tossing and turning less, which helped both of us sleep better.

People with Joint Pain

A good soft mattress can be the figurative oil to your creaky joints. The cushiony surface takes pressure off sore spots like hips, knees, and shoulders. Like floating on a cloud instead of pressing against a hard surface.

For people with conditions like arthritis, this can mean waking up with less pain and stiffness and having an easier time moving in the morning. However, it’s important to find the right balance. Too soft surfaces can sometimes make joint pain worse.

You might also want to make sure you get a model with mattress edge support, which can give you extra assistance with sliding out of bed when pain flares up.

Lighter-weight Individuals

When you’re on the smaller side and don’t weigh much, a firmer mattress can feel like a bruiser that’s kicking your shins while you’re down. The surface can seem as unyielding as a rock, even when it’s all foam and should be responding to your body accordingly.

Softer mattresses are like that sweet friend that’s swift to capitulate to whatever you want. And while that’s not always the best trait in a friend, it can be perfect in a mattress for petite folks.

Lighter sleepers often find they sleep better and wake up less sore when they choose a softer mattress. The beds let them sink in just enough to feel supported.

Who Should Avoid It?

Know thyself, and thy sleep needs. A soft mattress might feel like sleeping on a cloud, but for some folks, that cloud turns into a quicksand pit faster than you can say “Why can’t I feel my legs?”

Choose wisely, my sleep-seeking friends, lest you wake up feeling like you’ve gone ten rounds with a sentient marshmallow. Sometimes, you need to steer clear of a soft mattress for your own good.

Stomach Sleepers

Stomach sleepers usually don’t get along well with soft mattresses. When you sleep on your belly, a soft mattress can let your hips sink too deep. This makes your back bend in an uncomfortable U-shape.

Imagine trying to sleep with your back arched backward all night. Can we say “Ouch!”

Over time, this discomfort can lead to back pain and poor sleep. Stomach sleepers typically need a firmer surface to keep their spine aligned properly.

Back Pain Sufferers

If you have back pain, Verified Source National Library of Medicine (NIH) World’s largest medical library, making biomedical data and information more accessible. View source a soft mattress might make things worse. Your back needs good support to heal and stay healthy. A soft mattress can let your body sag in the middle, throwing your spine out of whack and irritating what already hurts. 

I’ve seen folks with back pain sink into soft mattresses and disappear like they’re auditioning for a magic act. One friend described it as “sleeping in a hammock made of marshmallows.” And that sounds delightful, until you try to stand up in the morning and your back screams louder than a heavy metal concert.

So when it comes to mattresses that relieve back pain, an ultra-plush bed can be as helpful as a bouncy inflatable castle. Instead, try a medium-firm or firm mattress. Many people find that one helps them sleep better and feel less sore in the morning.

Heavier Sleepers

Heavier folks often struggle with soft mattresses. If you weigh more, you’ll likely sink too deep especially if it’s not well-made with plenty of underlying support. It can be like seeing a bear try to escape a giant vat of honey, with lots of struggling, not much progress. Or like trying to sleep comfortably on a bean bag chair all night long.

Heavier individuals usually sleep better on firmer mattresses that can support their weight properly. I once visited a buddy who’d just bought a super-plush mattress. He was thrilled… until bedtime came. I found him the next morning, bleary-eyed and grumpy, sleeping on his floor because it was the only firm surface he could find.

How to Test if a Soft Mattress Is Right for You

You’ll be spending a third of your life on mattresses, so you’d better make sure the next one you pick is a good fit! And like making any extensive commitment, it’s important to check in with yourself to be sure you understand your needs and how you’re feeling about the way things are.

Try Before You Buy (and After!)

Plenty of people talk up the importance of trying a mattress in person before you buy it. And while that can be helpful and reassuring, I argue that it’s even more important to have the freedom to try after you buy it… and to be able to easily return the mattress if you need to.

Back in my younger days, I once bought a mattress based on a quick five-minute showroom test. Big mistake. Huge.  It was like judging a book by its cover, or worse, judging a restaurant by its menu photos.

I ended up with a mattress that felt like sleeping on a marshmallow that had been left out in the sun too long—soft and sticky in all the wrong ways, not helped by how the materials had me sweating like a fire hose.

These days, I’m all about the extended test drive. Many companies now offer trial periods, and boy, are they a game-changer that can help you swerve and avoid mattress mishaps. I once had a mattress that felt like heaven in the store but turned into a lumpy nightmare after a week at home. Thank goodness for that 120-night trial that let me test mattresses!

Pay Attention to Your Sleep Quality

Now, when you’re testing that mattress, you need to be a detective – Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom, if you will. Pay attention to every little clue your body gives you.

Focus on how you feel when you wake up. Do you feel refreshed or achy? I remember when I thought I’d found “the one” — a mattress so soft, it was like sleeping on a cloud.

For the first few nights, I felt like I was floating on air. But by day five, I was waking up feeling like I’d been folded into a hide-a-bed.

Keep track also of how often you toss and turn at night. A good mattress should help you sleep through the night without waking up. You might want to keep a journal by the bed to record any thoughts before you drift and anything that you notice first thing in the morning.

Also, notice if you have any new pains or if existing aches get better or worse. Your body will tell you if the mattress is working for you. It’s like your body is giving the mattress a report card every morning.

I did this, and eventually ended up with my current mattress. When I finally found it, it was like a sleep revelation. I went from tossing and turning like a rotisserie chicken to sleeping so soundly, my partner thought I’d slipped into a coma. That’s when I knew I’d found my perfect match.

Consider Your Sleeping Position

Knowing your sleep position is crucial. It’s like knowing your clothing size for shopping.

Think about how you usually sleep. Do you sleep on your side, back, or stomach? Soft mattresses work best for side sleepers, okay for back sleepers, and not so great for stomach sleepers. 

I’m a side sleeper myself, and let me tell you, any time I have slept on a firm mattress, it was like trying to get comfortable on a slab of concrete. So I knew to look for a new bed with plenty of cushion when it was time to replace my mattress.

Meanwhile, I once shared a hotel room with a friend who was a stomach sleeper. We had one of those ultra-plush mattresses, and while I was in seventh heaven, she looked like a cat trying to swim through gelatin. By morning, she was so twisted up, I thought she’d been trying to become an acrobatic human pretzel.

If you switch positions a lot, try each position on the mattress. Pay attention to how your body feels in each pose. Is your spine straight? Do your joints feel comfortable?

FAQs

How do I know if a new bed is too soft?

The key is to pay attention to how you feel after sleeping on it for a few nights. Signs of trouble include you’re waking up with lower back pain, constantly tired or achy, uncomfortably sinking too far into the surface, feeling like you’ve been folded into a human taco, or struggling to change positions without getting caught in a foamy quicksand.

If any of these sound familiar, try a firmer mattress and see if your sleep improves. Remember, a mattress should cradle you like a gentle hammock, not swallow you whole like some sort of nocturnal maw.

How long can I expect it to last?

Soft mattresses generally don’t last as long as firmer ones, with an average lifespan of about 5-7 years. They tend to develop sags and dips more quickly, especially in areas where you sleep most often. Essentially, they’ll go from being a puffed-up soufflé to a pounded pancake as the years pass.

However, a mattress’s lifespan can vary depending on its quality and how well you maintain it. If you’re the type who treats your bed like a trampoline or hosts nightly wrestling matches, you might find yourself shopping for a new one sooner than you’d like. To extend its life, rotate the mattress regularly and use a mattress protector.

Are they good for couples?

It depends. They can be cozy for some couples and challenging for others, especially those with different sleep preferences or body types. While it might be perfect for a lighter side sleeper, it could be uncomfortable for a heavier partner who sinks in more, which also creates an uneven sleep surface.

Additionally, soft mattresses typically offer less edge support, which can be problematic for couples sharing a smaller bed, as it reduces the usable sleep area. They also tend to transfer more motion, meaning that if one partner is a restless sleeper or frequently gets up during the night, the other partner is more likely to be disturbed.

In such cases, consider a medium mattress as a compromise, or look into mattresses with dual firmness options. Another solution could be using mattress toppers to adjust the feel on each side.

Can children use soft beds?

For infants and very young toddlers, pediatricians generally recommend firmer mattresses to promote proper skeletal development. As children grow older, their needs change, and a slightly softer mattress may become more appropriate.

But it’s best to start with a firmer option. For most children, a medium mattress often provides the best balance of comfort and support. This allows for some cushioning while still maintaining the necessary structure to support their growing bodies.

As always, it’s best to consult with a pediatrician if you have specific concerns about your child’s sleep surface.

Will I sleep hot?

It’s a possibility. They can have a tendency to sleep warmer than their firmer counterparts. This is because you sink deeper into a soft mattress, which can restrict air circulation around your body and trap heat.

However, many modern soft mattresses use cooling technologies to combat this issue. Materials like gel-infused foam, latex foam, plant-based foam, breathable covers, or even phase-change materials that absorb and dissipate heat.

That said, if you’re someone who runs hot at night or lives in a warm climate, you might find yourself doing the midnight blanket shuffle more often on a soft mattress.

Your best bet is to look for a soft mattress specifically designed for cooling if temperature regulation is a concern for you. Consider your bedding and room temperature, too.

Can the extra cushion relieve my pain?

While softer mattresses can provide comfort for some types of pain, particularly in pressure points like hips and shoulders for side sleepers, they aren’t a universal solution. In fact, for many people with chronic back pain, a mattress that’s too soft can exacerbate the issue by failing to provide adequate support for proper spinal alignment.

And what feels comfortable in a short trial may not provide the best long-term pain relief. Some people find that a mattress that initially feels very soft and comfortable can lead to increased pain over time as their body lacks proper support throughout the night.

Ultimately, finding the right mattress for pain relief often requires some trial and error. Test different mattress firmness levels to find the right balance between comfort and support for your shoulders. You may benefit from consultation with a healthcare provider.

Should side sleepers use one?

From personal experience, I can tell you that soft mattresses and side sleepers go together like peanut butter and jelly, or like me and my morning coffee. It’s a match made in slumberland heaven!

When you’re sleeping on your side, you’ve got those bony bits that make up the hips and shoulders digging into the mattress like they’re trying to strike oil. A soft mattress cradles these pressure points like a gentle hug from a cloud, allowing them to sink in just enough to keep your spine aligned. It’s like having a custom-fitted sleep suit.

However, and there’s always a however, isn’t there? Too soft, and you might find yourself sinking so far in that your spine looks like a question mark by morning. You a bed soft enough to cushion, but not so soft that you feel like you’re being slowly devoured.

Conclusion

Choosing the perfect mattress is a deeply personal journey, as unique as your sleep style and body type. Soft mattresses can be a dream come true for some sleepers, offering a cloud-like embrace that melts away pressure points and cradles sore joints.

For side sleepers, lightweight individuals, and those with certain types of pain, a plush surface might just be the ticket to dreamland. However, like that tempting slice of cake that looks divine but doesn’t agree with everyone’s digestive system, soft mattresses aren’t universally beloved.

Stomach sleepers, heavier individuals, and some back pain sufferers might find themselves twisted into human pretzels or sinking into mattress quicksand. The key to finding your perfect match is to listen to your body, take advantage of those generous sleep trials, and don’t be afraid to kiss a few mattress frogs before finding your prince.

Remember, a good night’s sleep is worth its weight in gold (or memory foam), so take the time to find the mattress that has you waking up feeling like royalty. Sweet dreams, and may your nights be soft and your mornings pain-free!